An Open Letter

Dear Ants,

Where do I start? Wish I could say "long time no see", but now, winter and your subsequent hibernation does not seem long enough. Opening the laundry room door yesterday and spotting your rough draft of a trail did not cause my heart to skip a beat for joy, but rather knowing the dreaded battle has begun. As I watched, I could almost hear your scouts alerting the family back at the nest with glee, "we found the mother load, boys!". If we could just work out some sort of arrangement, like, you guys stick to under the stove and refrigerator, there would be plenty to keep you busy and add to your 09/10 winter food stores. But no, like most species, you get greedy and that isn't enough to keep you satisfied.

Last year, I'm sure you remember, I gave up by mid-fall. I fought so hard to keep the counters wiped, the boric acid "available" to you, the floors mopped, and the food put away. Alas, it was to no avail. I could not stop you and conceded two-thirds of my kitchen to your colony. Yes, you happily gathered and I'm pretty sure chuckled each morning when I woke to see hundreds of tiny black specks moving furiously over my counters, knowing full well I had exhausted my ammunition....and my will.

Not this year. This year will be different, I will not and cannot give up. I will be triumphant, I will be victorious. You will not win. You will not win. You will not win!

Sincerely,
Lizzie, a.k.a. The Ant Victor