Ryder funnies.

Ryder is playing baseball for the first time this year and has been super excited. His team has been practicing for several weeks now and the boys are anxious to play their first game.

Unfortunately, week one came and the game was canceled due to rain.

Week two came and the game was canceled due to the opposing team dropping out of the league.

Now, here we are, week three, game tonight at 7pm....the forecast....possible thunder showers, so we'll see.

Ryder, however, is most excited about one thing. He said his coach told him they would be everywhere and he knows he wants to go to one.

"What is it?", I asked him. "What do you want to go to at your game?"

"Mom, my coach said they have confession stands there and they're everywhere! I can't wait to get a snack!"

Just a snack, huh? Maybe when you're ordering those nachos there's more to it?

A note about my mom, by Ashlynn

A friend of mine on facebook did this and I thought I would post it here. I'll start with Ashlynn and try it with the other kids each week.

This is a cool idea. Copy this note, ask your child the questions and write them down exactly how they respond.

1. What is something mom always says to you?
"No."

2. What makes mommy happy?
"Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh, to clean the house or the basement."

3. What makes mommy sad?
"When someone is being naughty and you give them a ....."

4. How does your mommy make you laugh?
"Tickle me."

5. What was your mommy like as a child?
"Pretty."

6. How old is your mom?
"29."

7. How tall is your mom?
"Ten inches."

8. What is your moms favorite thing to do?
"To play with us."

9. What does your mom do when you're not around?
"Clean the house."

10. If your mom becomes famous, what will it be for?
"The first cleaning record."

11. What is your mom really good at?
"Watching Adysen."

12. What is your mom not very good at?
"Uhhhhhh, hmmmmm. (long silence) I can't think of anything"

13. What does your mom do for her job?
"Stay home and watch the kids."

14. What's your moms favorite food?
"Homemade pizza."

15. What makes you proud of your mom?
"To help us and be a good mother."

16. If your mom were a cartoon character, who would she be?
"I would say Jerry."

17. What do you and your mom do together?
"Make bracelets."

18. How are you and your mom the same?
" 'Cause We both have curly hair."

19. How are you and your different?
" 'Cause you have brown hair and I have blonde hair."

20. How do you know your mom loves you?
" 'Cause you give me a hug and kiss."

21. Where is your moms favorite place to go?
"Shopping."

Notice: The following is a re-dramatization.......

Randy and I were running some errands with the kids the other day. As often happens in the car, a little fight broke out between Ashlynn and Ryder. In attempts to figure out what happened, I was asking each one what was going on. Ryder sits in the way back so sometimes it's really hard to hear him so Ashlynn usually interprets for me.

This time I got more than I bargained for.

Ashlynn started to whisper to Ryder, turned to me and said "Ok mom, just watch us, we'll show you what happened."

Suddenly the fight started again and I could see what was going on, only it wasn't the real thing. It was merely a re-enactment of what took place.

Now you have it, my four year old and six year old can "act out" scenarios that have taken place so we can determine who was at fault. All I ask is: "What next?"

The bug kit.

Grandma Linda gave the kids an insect kit with all kinds of molded critters that are a larger and very authentic looking version of the real thing.

The kit is supposed to teach and inspire kids about the lives of various insects. Here is what my kids were inspired to do with it:




Makes you want to whip a salad, doesn't it?

Sunday funnies....Part 2

We celebrated Dale's birthday on Sunday and we gathered around the table to enjoy some delicious strawberry shortcake and brownies with ice cream (super low fat and healthy, I know!). Linda sweetly offered "Would anyone like a cup of coffee?" The only response in the room came from my three year old son who very seriously replied: "Yes, please. I would like a cup of coffee."
Mimi, I hope you are proud. :-)


Later, in the car on the way home the kids were begging me to tell them a story. Ashlynn asked me to tell her about Jesus dying on the cross with all the details. When we pulled into the garage, I finished the story and started thinking, you know, Ashlynn always says how much she loves Jesus, but has she actually prayed to have Jesus in her heart? It's like, I know I've been over this with her, but I'm going to double check.

"Ashlynn, would you like to pray and ask Jesus into your heart, forever?" Her response was absolutely priceless: "Well, I already let Him in my heart, but I guess I could ask Him too!" We said the prayer of salvation and after a big amen, she stated: "Mommy, we pray that in church almost every Sunday, I just prayed that this morning, I love that prayer."

Wisdom comes in all shapes and sizes!!

Sunday funnies....

Sunday morning I was being a good wife and ironing a shirt for my dear, sweet husband. The steam in the iron was on and I had my trusty can of spray starch....I thought.

The shirt was not ironing up well, but it was black, so I figured it was "good enough". Since beggars can't be choosers, Randy dressed without even noticing the poor workmanship.

Then last night Paula came to our room with a tall can in her hand and a funny look on her face. See, the iron is in her room and I left it up-who has time to wait for the iron to cool and put it away before church?

"Oh, no Liz. That was no big deal, but did you use Lysol when you ironed this morning?!?"

Use what?? Apparently in my haste I grabbed the can of Lysol on her dresser thinking it was the spray starch and actually used it to iron Randy's shirt. Now I know Lysol is super potent, but have you ever used spray starch? I hate all those smelly things and just try to get away from them as soon as possible.

We both started laughing until I was crying and we decided we had to tell Randy. He said he wondered why his "cologne" smelled funny after he got dressed, but then forgot about it at church. He told me not worry, I wasn't fired from the job, but there was definitely room for "improvement" :-).

Hey, at least he was disinfected for Sunday morning service.

It's too early....

3:45 am: Ryder comes busting out of his room and into ours (somehow my constant pleas for him to be "more quiet" are not sinking into this boy's cranium). "Momma, can I sleep with yous?" First of all let me just get my eyes open here. Again, "Momma, can I sleep with yous guys?". Is this a mafia nightmare, why'd I watch that movie?

Assuming he had a bad dream, I obliged, really I was way to tired to get him back to his bed. He climbs up in bed, in the middle ofcourse and requests "Make room, momma". Again, "Momma, Momma, make room". Dude, don't know if you remember, momma's el preggo and Daddy's over six feet tall, I'll see what I can do. After moving myself to the edge of the bed (Randy wasn't budging, he doesn't exactly wake up real easy-how this works at the fire station is a mystery!), came another sweet request: "I need your pillow momma". Um, dude, once again, can you see how I have these five pillows precariously arranged to accommodate my pregnant self?

Let's put it this way, he fell comfortably asleep about thirty seconds after his sweet little requests and there I was, left with two pillows on the EDGE of the bed. Can someone say tired today?

Chris, potato peels and the garbage disposal.....

So the other night I was making dinner and had a sink full of potato peels. Eight potatoes worth of peels to be exact. Still hearing dad's voice ringing in my ears from childhood "the garbage disposal is not meant for that much stuff", I intended to put them in the trash. Well, what would you do if the trash can was completely full?

Empty the trash, you say? Um, how about just run them down the disposal, just this one time. I flipped the switch and away it went for the first couple of seconds and then all of a sudden they were spitting back up at me and the water was NOT draining down the sink. Crud.

What now, you say? I stuck my hand down in the drain to get it unclogged ofcourse(yes, I turned off the disposal first). If only it were that easy. There wasn't a peel to be found, just a sink of soppy potato peel bits and water.

Fortunately a light bulb turned on in my head and I remembered I have a plumber for a brother-in-law. Unfortunately, he lives seventeen hundred miles away, but surely he could "walk" me through this little problem over the phone. He answered right away, thank goodness, and exlpained exaclty what I need to do.

"Do you see a ninety degree attachment coming off the disposal?"

"Um, yes."

"Good, now just take that off and clean it out, you'll probably have to clean the p-trap out too".

"Um, Chris, what is this allen wrench thingy that says I should use it in case of a clog so I don't have to call a plumber".

"Don't use that, you would have to take the whole unit off. Trust me, don't use that". (Thinking in his mind-aren't you already calling a plumber?)

"Um, ok."

So I follow his instruction and get the ninety and p-trap off, clean it out (it was FULL of the peels) reattach and turn on the water see if we had success. The sink starts filling with water, again. Crud. Take the ninety and p-trap back off, realize I didn't clean it out that good. Re-clean it, thank you screwdriver (very versatile tool), and try again. This time before putting it back together I ran the water and disposal (yes, a kaleidoscope of peel bits went everywhere under my sink), just to make sure it was clear.

Now I have the whole thing back together and working, but it wasn't a pretty site under the sink. I did manage to catch most of the water in a container, but the peel bits could not be contained.

Well, I suppose it was a good excuse to clean out under the sink. Thanks for coming to the rescue, Chris!

They're gone.

Well, apparently when your husband is out of town for almost two weeks, you go a little crazy. The following episode didn't help.

This all takes place at a busy fabric store while in line:

Ashlynn: Can I have (everything in the store)?

Me: No, Ashlynn I just need some thread real quick.

Ryder: Can I have (everything in the store)?

Me: No, guys I just need to get this thread and we're out of here.

Ashlynn (at a decibel loud enough for everyone in line to hear): You never get us anything, you only get yourself everything.

Me: (If looks could kill)

Ashlynn: I can't hear you.

Me (in a hushed tone): You are in sooooo much trouble.

Ashlynn: You really need to use your inside voice. I can't hear you.

Ryder (not quite as loud as his sister): You never get us anything,, you always get everything. I want candy.

Me (trying to wish the whole thing away, while turning five shades of red, while holding a fidgety Gage): We'll talk about it in the car (while still giving the "if looks could kill" look).

After a lecture in the car about disrespect, obedience and listening I decided the consequence would need to be big. So today I went through the entire house and collected every single toy they own, put them all in trash bags and into the storage room in the basement. Funny thing, the kids were actually helping sort and put them away-with gusto.

Now only a few of Gage's toys remain and they have all been playing really well. They've been pirates, acrobats, and musicians. I think I'm starting to like this no toys thing.

ants, accountibility and dishes...

They're back. The ants. In full force. I hate them, but I use them.

This is our second spring in this house and our second invasion of those little black creatures that scurry across the countertops in my kitchen. Last year we used poison and this year I'm trying to go without. It's not that I have anything against chemical killing agents, I'm just trying to avoid them with all the kids in the house. So my strategy is to keep the kitchen really clean.
At the first sign of the ants I completely cleaned off every countertop and appliance (small and large). This made them disappear, for a while. Then the scouts came back, one here, two there. I'd squish each one and rinse them down the drain to make sure they were gone for good. I figured when the scouts didn't show back up at the nest, surely they'd deem my kitchen to be a "danger zone" and give up. Not that easy.

So here's where I'm at. If I so much as leave one little dish in the sink, they're on it like flies. But, if I keep my kitchen spotless (ajaxing the sink after every cooking expedition-which is like twenty times a day around here!!), I only see random stragglers. This brings me to acceptance. Acceptance of the ants for the sole reason of keeping my kitchen clean. Crazy, I know, but it works. The ants keep me accountable.

I imagine them gathered around in their nest: "That lady, she has a real problem with crumbs and unloading the dishwasher in the morning. Why don't we send in a few of the troops and see if we can't get her to clean up the place."

Ok, so maybe they don't personally hold me accountable, it's just their presence. And trust me, I've not found some new love for these things. No "I love ants" bumper stickers, I'm just using them to help me out a little.

Must run now, I cant' remember if I ajaxed after breakfast...

God Really Does Have A Sense of Humor

The following were cancelled yesterday due to inclimate weather (aka: snowstorm/blizzard/freezing conditions):

-The Sub Committee on Energy and Air Quality Hearing
"Climate Change: Are Greenhouse Gas Emissions from Human Activity Warming the Planet?"
meeting was scheduled Feb. 14th, 10am Rayburn House Office Building, Room 2123


-Maryville University (Near St. Louis)
Screening of Al Gore's "Inconvenient Truth" Feb. 14th, cancelled.


P.S. Thank goodness God knows what HE is doing!
P.P.S. I'm freezing!!