Good Day

Randy was home today and watched the kids this morning while I slept in-yeah!!!! I stayed in bed until 9:30, but felt like I could have slept until noon. It was just a nice lazy morning; I made french toast and omelets (with spinach & cheese-yum!). Randy played with the kids while I washed and dried my hair all in one sitting, without one kid busting into to the bathroom for some "emergency". Then I fed the kids lunch, nursed Gage, put them all down for a nap and ran to Wild Oats and Costco.

It's funny, taking the kids with me is a lot of work, but when they're not with me I feel like something's missing. I suppose they are part of my identity and I find myself mentioning them whenever I get the chance. I'm sure the cashier could care less who the apples are for, or that Ashlynn 'just loves oranges'. Or when the lady's kid in front of me does something embarrassing, I immediately reassure her I have three at home-so it's no big deal. Why do I do this? Why don't I relish in being alone, even pretend for a moment I'm a young kid-free women?
Partly, I know, I'm proud to be a mom and I love my kids. But deep inside I want people to look at me, look at what I can do-I can handle three kids all by myself-yes, they are all mine and yes, I have my hands full-but I can do it, I can make it work. This thinking probably plagues many stay-at-home moms. We love our kids, love being their mom; but it's our job too. We want recognition that we "meet expectations" or, by golly, that we "exceed expectations". So, going to the store, is not just "going to the store" for me. It's an appraisal for who I am as a mom and how good of a job I am doing (or not doing).

Is that really where I should be looking for my worth? Of course not, although it is very easy to do. There is only one source for me to draw from and that is Jesus. He alone is the measure of my worth, and considering He laid down His life for mine, I suppose I must be worthy. I also know, that I am only worthy because of Him. He provided the grace to overlook my immeasurable imperfections and shortcomings. He needs to be who I seek in every aspect of mothering.
This is not a task that comes naturally to me, I don't always listen and I don't always make time for Him, but I want to, I strive to, and I know He knows that. Thank you, Lord, for Your grace.