On my heart.

"My soul will boast in the LORD; let the afflicted hear and rejoice.
Glorify the LORD with me; let us exalt His name together.
I sought the LORD, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears.
Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame.
This poor man called, and the LORD heard him; he saved him out of all his troubles."

Psalm 34:4-6 NIV(emphasis mine)

We serve an amazing God. Not just some "pie in the sky" god, the GOD. The God who created the universe and created us in His image. The same God who sent his Son to die for every single one of us on the cross.

Listening to Hillsong United (Aftermath) last night this song caught my attention, it's title is "Take Heart". Here are a few of the lyrics:

So take heart. Let His love lead us through the night. Hold on to hope. And take courage again.
....He wears the scars of our freedom. In His name. All our fears are swept away. He never fails. All our troubles. And all our tears. God our hope. He has overcome. All our failure. And all our fear. God our love. He has overcome. All our heartache. And all our pain. God our Healer. He has overcome. All our burdens. All our shame. God our freedom.
He has overcome.

(These are only a portion of the lyrics, if you get a chance pick up the cd or download it off itunes, you will not be disappointed.)

Jesus is all of these things and more. But most of all, He wants a relationship with you. Not just to give you a list of rules and regulations, but to love you. Yes, it requires a change in your heart and it will require you to lay down your "rights" and desires. But His are so much better, so much more fulfilling, so perfectly made for you. Get to know Him.

"But offer yourselves to the ways of God and the freedom never quits. All your lives you've let sin tell you what to do. But thank God you've started listening to a new master, one whose commands set you free to live openly in His freedom!"

Romans 6:17-18(The Message)

My Mountains.

There are few things on earth more beautiful than the mountains. When you are away from them for a while, you forget there magnitude, their glory, their call to come explore. My brother-in-law, Aaron, has said he doesn't know what he would do if he didn't live near some mountains. "How would I know which way I was going if the mountains weren't there to guide me?"

I woke early the morning before we left and watched the sun rise above the mountains behind the home I was raised in. All of those years as a child, I don't think I ever noticed a sunrise. Of course, I was still sleeping. But us kids would get up as soon as the sun's rays pierced our bedroom windows.



We always headed to the mountains. In part to procrastinate the impending school work mom had for us, but mostly to explore and create. We carved trails hiking up that mountain, made gum trees and forged a lifelong bond with one another. We laughed, rarely argued (we saved that for inside), and let that fresh mountain air fill our lungs for as long as we could hold mom off.

The sunsets I remember. When their beauty was breathtaking (which was often), you could look out the front window and see dad just standing there. Taking it all in. Enjoying the amazing moment that was created for, what seemed like, just us.




In my heart, though, are those treasured, early morning moments spent playing outside. Digging massive caverns in the mountainside for our fortress. Fully equipped with bathroom and all. Dad may never know where all of his tools are, but one day, some great archeologist may find them and rejoice with his link to the past. History. That's what we made on those mornings.




I often tell people, I never lived in the city until I was married and moved away. The city is convenient in ways, with grocery stores and shopping centers only moments away. But mountain living runs through my veins and deep in my roots. I will forever treasure my time with them.



My precious memories are a mere glimpse at the beauty of what is to come beyond this life. Thank you, Lord, for the sneak peek.

Did I ever tell you about that time?

A couple of months ago I participated in our neighborhood garage sale. It's always motivating to have a reason to clean out every nook and cranny of your house.

Cash. Cold, hard cash.

Most of you know my profits from the sale went to buy a new cell phone since someone decided mine was part of the "free" bin on one of the tables.

The tables. Oh, those tables.

Randy arranged for me to borrow them from our church and arranged to borrow Jeff's truck to pick them up and drop them off.

Just drop them off.

He sweetly loaded them up along with any leftover items from my garage sale so I could run them back to the church, but first I made a pit stop by the senior center to donate my remaining items. He did offer to take them for me, but was still at the dentist with Ryde getting their teeth cleaned.

Dentist or drop something off? Um, anything that does not have dentist in it, thank you.

After unloading the extra things, oh wait, did I mention it was a sweltering day and Jeff's air conditioning was broken? OK, sorry, back to the story. It was hot, very hot and as I pulled out of the senior center, I mapped the fastest route to the church and headed west. I came to an intersection and sat at a red light waiting to make a left turn. The light turned green and I slowly started my was through when I heard what sounded like a crash and what felt like the truck falling apart followed by cars honking. In the rear view mirror I caught sight of three folding tables in the middle of the street.

Blocking traffic.

At the soonest possible place I turned around and headed back to assess the situation. Yep, there they were, preventing any other vehicles from making the left turn I just made. Nice. I pulled into the driveway of a house that was on the same street and hopped out of the truck while calling Randy over and over again on my phone. Apparently he was still in the midst of dental work and never heard his phone. As I stepped out into the street, readying myself to pull these heavy tables out of the way, I wondered how in the world I was going to get them back up in the truck.

Eye contact.

That was all it took. One person, a man rather, who was coming up to the light made eye contact with me. With a helpless look on my face I ran up to his open car window (his ac must have been broken too) and asked him if he could help me lift the tables out of the road and into the bed of the truck. He hesitated for a second, looking around for the candid camera crew and quickly realized this girl needed assistance. Together we lifted the tables through stopped traffic while a city police car drove by without even slowing down (thanks a lot!). With sweat running down my flushed face I thanked him for being my angel and we both went on our way.

Well, kind of.

I made it two blocks to a big parking lot where I re-secured the ratchet straps over the tables to make sure I wouldn't cause another traffic jam on the way home. Driving as slowly as legally possible, I made it safely back to our driveway where I left the tables for Randy to return.

Next time, I'll stick with the dentist.

A few things.

Random thought:

When you buy something that has 48 servings, it seems like a lot.

That is, until six people have it once a day....and it only lasts eight days......

Listening to the kids talk in the car as we pulled out of our garage:

"Why did we buy a house with such a small garage?"

Well, actually, we have a lot of kids, it's the car that is big...."

"We should just get a garage from Costco, that would be big enough for us!"

The trail.

With Randy still on the mend from his torn muscle, my schedule has become a bit discombobulated. The cold, cloudy, snowy weather has taken my motivation level to an all time low. It reminds me of a conversation I had with my cousin a couple of months ago when we were discussing her job. See, she works for the parks and recreation in her state and spends her days maintaining, building and clearing the public trails. It's beautiful for her to see God's awesome handiwork and fulfilling to make these trails as close to nature as possible.

But.....

It's back-breaking work. Each day, with a heavy load of tools (nothing can be motorized) they journey to their destination. They labor all day and just when they feel worn out and ready to collapse, thy must hike uphill back out of the trails. "I love my job, I don't want to complain, but some days that hike really gets you", she told me.

As I listened to her I had one of those light bulb moments. " That's it!", I thought. "That's motherhood and life. You love it so much, but all day you labor and when you think the day is almost done, there stands the big hill. You have to muster all of your strength and climb back up....knowing you will be starting over the next day."

Just like my cousin, I have the tools I need to help me in my work. Each day I can choose what I will use and how much time I will dedicate to these "tools". Mine, also, are not motorized, they take elbow grease and diligence. How easy it is to skip getting up early to read the Bible or take the time to pray over my day and my family.

Sometimes it seems there is no progress, the trail is so long, you don't see an end to it. But then, you turn around and look back to see beauty, to see a way was made. Rough and narrow it might be, God is guiding each step and leading you to the next path that must be cleared.

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."

James 1:2-4

How are your trails coming?

Self-esteem, no we're good, can you tell me where to pick up some humility....

Standing in front of the mirror, gazing at her reflection, Ashlynn spoke her thoughts:

*"Isn't it just so funny? I mean, I have the same beautiful hair, the same beautiful voice, and I'm so pretty, just like Carrie Underwood and Taylor Swift. It's like we were born with all the same things. Isn't that so funny mommy?"

Seriously, we want our kids to have self confidence and be comfortable in their own skin, but is this a little extreme? Half of me wanted to just crack up (the tone she used was so matter-of-fact) and the other part of me needed to reinforce that it's what's on the inside that counts. I wanted her to remember, God looks into our hearts, that is the reflection He sees and the one we want others to see.

Confident, yes. But I also want to be raising kids that are confident because they know their Creator and understand He has given them a purpose in this life that is far greater than looking, sounding or acting like someone else.

*Note: Ashlynn is still far removed, thankfully, from being concerned about her looks, her clothes and what is "cool". She said these things in such a sweet way that I spoke carefully to her in my explanation, but I wanted her to understand what is really important.

Superman.

While at the pool on Sunday, Randy stopped to help one of the kids in our neighborhood (who uses wheelchair) out of the pool. With a career in emergency response, helping someone out is just a natural part of his character. It's not in him to just stand by and wait for another person to come along and assist without being directly involved in the process.

Of course, he would never "toot his own horn" and all too often I am conditioned to his abilities as "something that has always been". Even when we were dating, it seemed we would happen upon an accident or car fire or similar emergency and he was there taking charge of situation, bringing order out of chaos.

As a middle child, I'm the peacemaker. Control, responsibility, leadership, organization....not my strong suits. If a person were to run in the house with blood coming out of a wound, I would toss them a towel, advise them to put pressure on it and wait for help to come while running to hide myself in the bathroom. Not that I'm an out of control, irresponsible, unstable person, I just don't assert myself in those roles unless absolutely necessary. Randy, well, he was made for it. I am so grateful to have my Rock and my Redeemer in Christ, but I feel tremendously blessed to have a "rock" here on earth.

Ok. Getting back to the pool. When he was helping the kid out, he looked up at Randy and asked in earnest, "Are you the strongest man in the world?" Randy just laughed and responded, "No buddy, I'm not." Now that I've been thinking about it, I'd have to say he's the strongest man in my world.

An Open Letter

Dear Ants,

Where do I start? Wish I could say "long time no see", but now, winter and your subsequent hibernation does not seem long enough. Opening the laundry room door yesterday and spotting your rough draft of a trail did not cause my heart to skip a beat for joy, but rather knowing the dreaded battle has begun. As I watched, I could almost hear your scouts alerting the family back at the nest with glee, "we found the mother load, boys!". If we could just work out some sort of arrangement, like, you guys stick to under the stove and refrigerator, there would be plenty to keep you busy and add to your 09/10 winter food stores. But no, like most species, you get greedy and that isn't enough to keep you satisfied.

Last year, I'm sure you remember, I gave up by mid-fall. I fought so hard to keep the counters wiped, the boric acid "available" to you, the floors mopped, and the food put away. Alas, it was to no avail. I could not stop you and conceded two-thirds of my kitchen to your colony. Yes, you happily gathered and I'm pretty sure chuckled each morning when I woke to see hundreds of tiny black specks moving furiously over my counters, knowing full well I had exhausted my ammunition....and my will.

Not this year. This year will be different, I will not and cannot give up. I will be triumphant, I will be victorious. You will not win. You will not win. You will not win!

Sincerely,
Lizzie, a.k.a. The Ant Victor

Complete, total and utter nonsense....

These are some thoughts that have been "weighing" on my mind lately.....

• Have you ever taken a big whiff of something and really wished you hadn't?
• Why is it that when I'm upstairs in my sewing room, I can hear everything that is going on downstairs and they cannot hear me? And yet, when I am downstairs and they are upstairs, I can hear them just fine...
• Why is it the days we choose to keep our jammies on, the doorbell always rings?
• How can a two year old remember where you put his ball and bat, when you said he could have a piece of gum (and where you "hid" it), take apart and put together fifteen puzzles, recognize various cartoon characters, but cannot manage to be potty trained?
• Why do I, more often than not, procrastinate until 4:30 to decide "what's for dinner"?
• How come my car only makes a funny noise when no one else is around?
• Why does the mail come late on days you don't care, but early on days when you had to get that bill sent off?
• How can so many "mates" of kids socks get "lost" in the laundry.....where do they go, really?
• Why do I continually turn on the light switch of a bulb that I know is burnt out?
• Why don't I just change the bulb?
• When I go to a salad bar, something (usually spinach) always gets stuck in my teeth and I inevitably run in to someone I know.

So these are not life's greatest mysteries, just mine, surely you all have some too!

Hind sight is always 20/20.

This morning I took the kids to a local museum that had an awesome kids section with various interactive rooms. Ashlynn's favorite was, ofcourse, the theatre room. She spent time choosing her costume, deciding on her performance and what it would entail. As I kept an eye on the others, she said would let me know when she was ready so I could watch. The time came and as she tried to open the velvet curtains a little girl came up and began yanking them closed. Ashlynn, in a very sweet voice said, "no, no, leave them open". To which the girl completely ignored and kept pulling them closed. Ashlynn kept trying to open them and was getting nowhere. Now mind you, I was holding Addie and trying to keep an eye on the boys while watching Ashlynn so I wasn't realizing the trouble she was having. All of a sudden this girl's mom very rudely tells Ashlynn that her daughter can touch anything she wants and she has every right to play with the curtains if she wants and Ashlynn had no right to tell her not to close them or let them go!

I was speechless. Poor Ashlynn just looked at me in utter terror and all I could do was muster, "It's ok, Ashlynn, you're ok Ashlynn". She ran off the stage to the dressing area, took off her costume, quietly walked out of the area and began sobbing. She was so embarrassed and had no idea what she had done wrong for this women to talk to her the way she did.

Seriously, I was so shocked at the way the woman reacted I had no idea what to do. My friend that was with me (who also has four children) could see the distress Ashlynn was in and just tried to comfort her by finding something else for her to play with. The rude lady vanished by the time I went back to the theatre, which upset me even more. There I stood, my daughter looking me in the eyes for some reassurance and all I could get out was "it's ok"???

Now that I have been stewing on it all afternoon, I could think of a million things to tell this person who completely crossed the line with my child (or any other child for that matter). Did it make you feel good to humiliate a six year old girl in front of others? Do you realize in the least that your daughter was ruining their show they had been working on? Do you know how rude you sounded?

Why can't I think of these things at the moment? I am so non-confrontational it drives me crazy sometimes. All I can do is take the lesson from this and never again not stand up for my child in the face of total rudeness. Trust me, I am not one of those parents that thinks their child is perfect and can do no wrong. If anything, I err on the side of asking them if they did anything to instigate the conflict first. This crossed the line and it has just been eating me up today, so here I am getting it off my chest.

What would you have done?

Why is it?

Why is it, even though I make Gage his own milk every morning, he tries to steal Ryder's any chance he can get?

Why is it, the moment you decide to exercise, all of the kids wake up?

Why is it, the day you must leave at a certain time, the kids sleep in or take extra long naps?

Why is it, you never seem to have the ingredients on hand for something you really want to make?

Why is it, that it never fails the day you don't shower or get dressed, someone rings your doorbell?

Why is it, you can start the day so excited for what you will do after the kids are in bed and then lose all motivation when you actually get them all in bed at night?


Just wondering if anyone else has any "Why is it?" moments..............

Something to think about.

Last night I was reading a book to Ashlynn that Aunt Betty gave to her several years ago titled "God's Wisdom for Little Girls". It is a sweet book that breaks down Proverbs 31 and applies it to her life.

Can I say, it really hit home for me too.

Page 5 read:

Being good to others is so hard to do!
But this is exactly what God asks of you.
So do what you can to be kind to others,
And that includes your sisters and brothers!

"Her husband trusts her completely.
With her, he has everything he needs.
She does him good and not harm
for as long as she lives.

Proverbs 31:11,12 (The International Children's Bible, New Century Version)

(Here's the NIV Version also:

"Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value,
She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life."

Proverbs 31:11,12)

How often, I wonder, am I good to others? Is it for my personal gain or from my heart with the love of Christ and His commands? Also, am I truly a wife that is bringing only good and not harm into our family life?

Thankfully, I know Randy trusts me completely, but I want to strive to do more. To give up what I want and think of others first (especially Randy). To bring joy, peace and love to my household (not the goofy "la la land type" of stuff), but true goodness from following God's Word.

To lack nothing of value in Christ, yes, that's what I want.

It's really better just not to leave the house.....

We had a great time with Auntie Colie here, check out her blog for pictures as my camera was MIA. Ofcourse, it went by way too fast, but it always seems to do that when family comes for a visit!!


Yesterday I had to run a few errands. Target for contact lens solution, Kohl's to make a return and the bank for a deposit. Actually, Target and Kohl's are two places I try to avoid and now I remember why.

That dreaded "want monster" just starts to take over inside. Every aisle you pass in Target you see something that would be "perfect" in this room or just what I "needed" for that room.

A quick walk past clothing racks at Kohl's makes you imagining a new wardrobe for the entire family. Not that the clothes you already own aren't fine, but these are "better", "cooler", more "trendy".

Seriously, I could have spent hundreds of dollars yesterday on things I totally didn't need, just to run a few errands. It's definitely safer to stay home....or just go to the park.

More snow and attitude.

That pretty much sums up my day. It's still freezing here and more snow is on the way. I'm trying really hard not to have a bad attitude about the cold, but it is definitely getting to me.

My patience is shorter, my smiles less frequent, my skin is cracking on my hands and feet, my kids have cabin fever like I've never seen, my gas bill......oh, stop me now.

Then, Randy came to me last night after talking to his dad on the phone. One of his cousins up north has been battling brain cancer and has now been confined to a wheelchair, they're not giving him much time. He has a wife and three young children. Two of Randy's aunts are also battling cancer with not much hope either.

Hits like a gut shot. I'm complaining about what? Yes, the cold stinks, stinks, stinks. But.....I'm not visiting Randy in a hospital, weak and broken, knowing I may lose him any moment. He's not wondering if the mastectomy will rid me of cancer. Or hoping the hysterectomy gets all of those nasty, body ravaging, mutations of cancer.

And, if I'm honest, I didn't have the best attitude when I looked out the window to more white today. It's really that imperative choice of spending time with Jesus, everyday. To be in contact with Him in prayer all throughout the day, asking Him for the strength to let go of what I can't control and live with the fullness and joy I should be.

How different my day might be.