This morning I took the kids to a local museum that had an awesome kids section with various interactive rooms. Ashlynn's favorite was, ofcourse, the theatre room. She spent time choosing her costume, deciding on her performance and what it would entail. As I kept an eye on the others, she said would let me know when she was ready so I could watch. The time came and as she tried to open the velvet curtains a little girl came up and began yanking them closed. Ashlynn, in a very sweet voice said, "no, no, leave them open". To which the girl completely ignored and kept pulling them closed. Ashlynn kept trying to open them and was getting nowhere. Now mind you, I was holding Addie and trying to keep an eye on the boys while watching Ashlynn so I wasn't realizing the trouble she was having. All of a sudden this girl's mom very rudely tells Ashlynn that her daughter can touch anything she wants and she has every right to play with the curtains if she wants and Ashlynn had no right to tell her not to close them or let them go!
I was speechless. Poor Ashlynn just looked at me in utter terror and all I could do was muster, "It's ok, Ashlynn, you're ok Ashlynn". She ran off the stage to the dressing area, took off her costume, quietly walked out of the area and began sobbing. She was so embarrassed and had no idea what she had done wrong for this women to talk to her the way she did.
Seriously, I was so shocked at the way the woman reacted I had no idea what to do. My friend that was with me (who also has four children) could see the distress Ashlynn was in and just tried to comfort her by finding something else for her to play with. The rude lady vanished by the time I went back to the theatre, which upset me even more. There I stood, my daughter looking me in the eyes for some reassurance and all I could get out was "it's ok"???
Now that I have been stewing on it all afternoon, I could think of a million things to tell this person who completely crossed the line with my child (or any other child for that matter). Did it make you feel good to humiliate a six year old girl in front of others? Do you realize in the least that your daughter was ruining their show they had been working on? Do you know how rude you sounded?
Why can't I think of these things at the moment? I am so non-confrontational it drives me crazy sometimes. All I can do is take the lesson from this and never again not stand up for my child in the face of total rudeness. Trust me, I am not one of those parents that thinks their child is perfect and can do no wrong. If anything, I err on the side of asking them if they did anything to instigate the conflict first. This crossed the line and it has just been eating me up today, so here I am getting it off my chest.
What would you have done?
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10 comments:
I could think of dozen things but none of them are legal. My staple statement when other mothers try to mother my children, "She has a mother, thanks!". This is of course said very sarcastically and loudly. I hope to run into her one day when I come to visit:)
I would have reacted the same way you did. I'm completely non-confrontational too. Sweet Ashlynn.
I would have probably been in the same boat as you--speechless...which doesn't happen to me too often! I'm always shocked by people's nerve. I'm so sorry that happened to her! Hope you guys are well..we miss you!
Stef
Hi there. Just hopping over from Heth's. This is one of the heartaches in life that people don't talk about that often, but it's safe to in blogging. I've had one or two similar experiences, and although my kids are all big now and do not remember them, I do, because it hurt and frustrated me way more than it did them, although they reacted at the time like your daughter. I don't mean I carry a grudge; I just mean I can still recall it very clearly when many aspects of life have faded away. That's mom-love!
Yikes, that's hard. In a situation like that where there's really no rules on keeping the curtains closed or open or whatever I think I would have calmed Ashlynn down, reassured her that she didn't deserve to be snapped at like that and then maybe taken her back and suggested to the other mom that the girls take turns with opening and closing the curtains. If the other person is unreasonable then just leave and try again later. If someone has enough gall to snap at a little kid you may not be able to reason with them at all!!
Gah! Poor Ashlynn.
Oh my goodness!!! That frustrates me SOOO much!! I honestly don't know what I would have done being that I am not an "official" mother yet... but I do know I am very protective of my own little chickies in the classroom, and if some adult starts to pick on them, I usually have something to say about it (where oh where is that quiet spirit of mine?!!)
I think the Lord will somehow use your quiet , non-confrontational response though... even if it's just to serve as an example to your daughter of a gentle spirit of a godly mama in contrast to that other mother! Yikes!
Boy Liz I know that is so hard. It makes you feel that somehow you let your child. You didn't, what would you have been teaching her by reacting any other way. Yes that woman was sooo rude. But you did not act in kind. That will say more to Ashlynn than anything. It also gives you opportunity to sit down and talk with Ashlynn about what happened how it made her feel and how it made you feel, and just a bonding time with your daughter that you understand how she felt and rassure her that you are always on her side, and want to respond in (kill them with kindness) responses. Confrontation would have not been the answer for a woman like that it would have gotten ugly. You took the highroad even if by default and shock.
Obviously from my heartless test results... I would have tackled the mother. But then again... maybe I shouldn't be a mother... because I would have tackled her.
Poor Ashlynn! That lady was obvisously not "present' to what was really happening.. that her kid was being RUDE RUDE RUDE!!!
I always make my kids "give up" being right when it comes to public convrontations like that...in the end they know they were the "better" person...
Then first chance I talk to my kids about how rude it was that the other mom was sooo not about teaching her children MANNERS!!!
However,, I want to be there when you scrap it out with someone!! ha ha!
Thanks girls, so glad I am not alone in this! I still get teary eyed thinking about it....
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